“But your baby is fine.”, is what I heard a lot after I gave birth to my first child, and of course that is what was important. It was not an overly dramatic birth, actually it was quite the norm. I planned an all natural birth and it developed into a c-section. So maybe I should just shut up and be happy because my baby is fine. Maybe it’s all because my generation is not used to those kind of experiences. Nevertheless, I needed to work through it, feel and understand what happened there. So I began to photograph myself and relive the hours of birth.
I started the series as self portraits photographed in my home, because the quarantine time locked me inside with so much time to think and to feel. My baby is now eight month old and it is the first time that I have time to deal with everything that happens.
First I photographed the flashbacks I am having and after time I remembered more and more details of the birth. Now I photograph more how the situations made me feel and work metaphorically. I am still in the process of finding bits and pieces, trying to put them together. The limitation of my home is a great comfort, because I need to work around all my furniture, work with what I have and still are in the most calming place. Most of the time my baby is playing just outside the frame, giggling, and grounds all the pain I am reliving with the positive note: My baby is fine.
Lara Wilde dances in her projects between the themes of raw human emotions and the complexity of the outside world. As a photographer and psychologist she is interested in what moves us as humanity on an individual level. Besides an intensive involvement with her protagonists, she stands for technical perfection in the execution, which has earned her several awards.